Unanswered prayers lead to loss of faith

Kelsey Spurrier, General Columnist

The first time I called out to you and realized you weren’t there was when I was in third grade and mommy and daddy were fighting so bad that we had to move out.

Mommy was crying and came in my room at 3 a.m., telling me to pack my bag.

I called out for you and you never came.

The next time I called out to you was when I was 11 and he hurt me.

I stayed up all night crying.

I called out to you and you never came.

The last time I called out to you was on Valentine’s Day when I was 14, the day my best friend killed himself.

You never came.

Even now, after coming to terms with your absence, there are days I find myself reaching out.

I pray for the strength to be independent.

I pray for the strength to be at ease.

I pray for the strength to be OK.

But I always end the prayer the same: I’m sorry that I’ve lost faith.

There are those around me who still believe. When they pray, they feel there will be an answer.

But tell me, after years of kneeling on your hands and knees, begging for answers, is it wrong for blame to replace faith?

I don’t expect the answer will come.