Asking For a Friend: Relationship Advice

Question: Should people concern themselves with your gender or sexuality and then be allowed to hate you for it? -BEETLE JUICE


So obviously it shouldn’t be offensive if someone inquiries about another’s gender preference or sexuality. Maybe they don’t want to offend them by using the wrong pronoun, maybe they’re attracted to them and don’t know if they should act on it. So really, asking about gender preference or sexuality shouldn’t be an issue. In all honesty, people have their own opinions about everything, it’s not about whether they should be allowed to or not. However, this does not mean that they should voice their opinions on every topic, especially when it does not concern them (as stated in your question). If someone really does have an issue with the way another person identifies… well, it really isn’t any of their business, anyways is it?


Question: What do you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend seems distant and won’t talk to you much?  -Concerned Friend


Be upfront with them about it, but don’t say anything to put them on the defensive. Ask yourself: Have they always acted like this, or is it a new behavior? People respond to certain situations in very different ways, so before you react, retrace your steps until you find a potential source for their distance. Maybe you said something to them, or maybe it is not you at all. Maybe they are enduring something that does not include you, such as family issues. Ask them why they are not speaking to you as much, and wait for their response.

But remember: Their response may not sound right, and it may not be as in-depth as you wish. If this is the case, and you can’t immediately work it out, give them space and see what happens. Allow the relationship to balance, as hard as it may be.

First things first: Don’t over analyze the situation and don’t believe things in which you don’t entirely trust. Relax, and let it all work out on it on its own. But then again, don’t let the person treat you as though you don’t matter. If it continues, and you still feel ignored, eventually you need to stand up and say something. But until then, watch Grown Ups and enjoy life while it lasts.



A. Nonymous